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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Lepidoptera

by YAY MARIA

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1.
Depression 02:29
I want to be where you are Anywhere but here Swimming in a sea of meaninglessness & nothingness I don’t understand Suspicion You don’t say anything Just leave me to be While we’re the best in the land I want to be where you are Nobody cares I want to be where you are Right here Right now & no, nobody cares Nothing I can say Nothing I can do If that’s the way, who am I to argue? Got things & money we care about As long as I am not really here I want to be where you are Nobody cares I want to be where you are Right here Right now & no, nobody cares
2.
Bruxism 02:33
Might’ve lost you in the crowd & it’s a big crowd It's loud, endowed Howling loud & proud Deep & down Might’ve had to go it alone Might've had to do it Stagger past Between deep in fields & it’s a big field It’s real Feel all hope it lost ‘til there you are A beacon Yer beaming countenance Eyes beholden & in a trance Rush toward Push forward Hug big There you are/you’re here/Here we are As if there was no-one here but you If there was no-one here but me Would you? Could you? Should you? There I was It was then I knew
3.
Don’t want to fight Don’t wanna die with the pry innocent life Just knock me out Just want my cranium to quiet down I follow him to his Prius at two & a quarter It’s not the same I miss my old dealer I miss my dead dealer
4.
Contrition 03:13
Fragments of a transitory tenure ripped asunder Do you ever notice? Can I ever know this? Got me a question & I would like to get an answer Can I get a minute? Iddy bitty wilderness Kept beleaguered, fevered Leaving left back at the start Do you ever notice? Can I ever know this? Cracked patterns of habit got me looking in the mirror Can I get a minute? How’d it ever get this far? Before we leave together I need to know am I a bad person? Like I think sometimes Or am I a good person? Cos I try sometimes I’ve felt the demon beast revel in me & I need to know if he is merely me? HOLLA! Prostate before Jesus porn There’s thinking & there’s doing Do you ever notice? Can I ever know this? My species don’t come off as too good upon picky reviewing & I never noticed Can I ever know anything? Cracked patterns of habit got me looking in the mirror Can I get a minute? How’d it ever get this far? Got me a question & I would like to get an answer Can I get a minute? How’d it ever get this far? Before we can continue I need to know am I a bad person? Like I think sometimes Or am I a good person Cos I try sometimes I’ve felt the demon beast revel in me & I need to know if he is merely me? HOLLA!
5.
Drunk Bible 02:07
You are not going to like what I have to tell you Inferior feels Externalising You are not going to like what I have to tell you I didn’t ring you because I wanted to die Never knew enough Never known anything Catastrophising everything to the point of purest fun What have I done, homeslice? Everyone else seems so happy Everyone else seems so sad This might just be the best that I’ve ever had No way of knowing I just needed someone to talk to I needed to see your face All loneliness has robbed me of the ability to recognise shapes Everything is happening & it’s overwhelming FUCKER I remember falling I remember falling at you I remember falling I remember falling in bliss
6.
MIKEY 02:48
7.
8.
Sister Edit 05:12
Mirror Flower Water Moon River Shower Matter Swoon

about

Have you ever felt lost?

This mini- album is about process. Transitioning from a morass of toxic dismay into a magical meadow of possibilities. Discovering along the way that there is a beautiful expansive spectrum between any two polar extremes. & realising there are beautiful, living, loving people who are only to happy to help you out along the way.

Who knows where we’ll end up next?

Kisses.

credits

released September 21, 2019

All music written & performed by Maria Michael Machin.

Recorded on location in Whitby, Paris & around the Peak District.
Mixed & Mastered @ Snug Recording Company by Rich Collins & Robin Newman

Album cover concept & design: Sage M Stephanou
Photography: Dan Wheeler @ The Photo Parlour, Nottingham

Many thanks to Dan Wheeler, Robin Newman, Sage M Stephanou, Jo Lewis, Rich Collins, Paul Beal, Alix Hyde, Sian Morrell, Connor Francis Wallace, Go Charlie, Emerciana Desouza, Danielle Cotterill, Tom Hall, Louise Croft, Anna Boyd, Paige Lavruk, Tomas Ward, Sophie & Gemma Barkerwood, Darius Powell, Sarah Lay, Natalie Wynn, Fan Club, Laura Mitchell, James Thornhill & Hayley Walsh.

©2019

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YAY MARIA UK

Queer & trans musical artist (She/her) documenting her transition.

If I can make one outsider feel better about themselves then YAYAY!!

Debut album 'OYEZ' out NOW!!

“We can’t praise this artist enough, forever creating the most joyous and stunning intricate orchestrations.”

- Circuit Sweet
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